Well, this past week I was looking down into the holler toward Webb’s Creek thinking about how most of America’s early explorers and pioneers owned just one pair of shoes. When John Wayne rode off into the sunset you never saw a half-dozen pairs of shoes flopping across his saddle. He won the entire West owning one pair of cowboy boots and (judging by his stride) that pair didn’t even fit that well. There were no moccasin racks in Teepees and Smoky Mountain pioneer men like Wiley Oakley secured many items in their backpacks, but plush evening slippers was not one of them. It was a glorious time when a man would scoff at the need for clean socks and when women-folk wore hi-topped leather shoes for those brief stints when they weren’t barefoot and pregnant. Ahh…..the good ole’ days!

Today, shoes account for most of our domestic use gross national product and the shoe industry is the foundation of our nation’s economic system. The housing and oil industries are important, but if the shoe industry ever falters it is time to can beans and store liquid refreshments. Thank goodness there is little risk for a shoe recession because we all need special shoes for virtually every activity and women need them for every colored piece of clothing in their lives. How did I ever wade in streams without my stylishly fluorescent aqua shoes? Which came first…the mustard-colored shoes or the mustard-colored dress?

Last week I carefully, though secretly, examined all of the shoes of our church members at the annual Big Fish Fry and discovered that absolutely no two pairs were alike. I continued staring at other people’s shoes for the remainder of the week and my initial findings were confirmed. I should not have been surprised. After all…when was the last time you were in an important business meeting or in line at a wedding reception and heard, “Hey, nice shoes. We match!” Each pair of shoes is like a snowflake.

It would be irresponsible to avoid a brief mention of “snowflake” functionality or lack thereof. In my humble opinion high heeled shoes and 50,000 watt electronic billboards are in the same category of stupid and unsafe ideas. Ladies…I don’t mean to step on your toes, but what in the world are you thinking? Walking shoes, not high heels are a much better shoe to help exhibit skinnier and more muscular-looking legs. Walking on tiptoes? I don’t think so.

I own a pair of flip flops, leather sandals from Bass Pro Shop, fluorescent aqua shoes, brown dress shoes, black dress shoes, cowboy boots, running shoes and seven pairs of the coolest hiking boots ever (I do love my Vasque Sundowner Summit GTX boots.) I guess if I was an explorer on a horse riding into the sunset I would have to string 13 pairs of shoes and boots across the back of my saddle and my wife would require at least three additional pack mules. That is just how it looks from my log cabin.

John LaFevre is a local speaker and co-author of the interactive national park hiking book series, Scavenger Hike Adventures, Falcon Guides, Globe Pequot Press. Contact John at scavengerhike@aol.com or at his blog at Falcon.com. Artist G. Webb lives in Pittman Center, Tennessee. Gwebbgallery.com.