Well, this past week I was looking down into the holler toward Webb’s Creek thinking about how I have a strong preference for wild things. Wild things are just more exciting, adventurous and fun than “un-wild” things. Un-wild things don’t really cut the mustard. Un-wild things are concerts that include French horns or a trip to any store that doesn’t sell propane and waterproof matches. Cul de sac’s, two-wheel drive vehicles and decaf coffee are extremely un-wild. Un-wild is predictable, safe, warm, comfortable and adrenalin free. For example, Shady Oaks Restaurant serves the best grits ever made and offers checkered tablecloths and all three eating utensils….but even though it is truly a wonderful eating experience…it can’t compete with a wild meal. Just last weekend below Fern Branch Falls I found a big flat rock, set up my hiker stove and cooked up some hot chocolate for my friends. I stirred it to near perfection with a long piece of beef jerky. The... (more...)

Well, this past week I was looking down into the holler toward Webb’s Creek thinking about how I accidentally killed a squirrel a few days earlier. I was driving north on I-81 approaching the exit for Jonesboro when a little gray squirrel scampered onto the highway and froze. He appeared to stare straight into my eyes and I could sense the extreme fear that would not allow him to move. He was paralyzed and I was locked in my lane and could not swerve. I felt the sickening bump as the squirrel hit the tire and its life ended. Sadness filled my heart. I couldn’t even stop to move it off the highway and I imagined that it would be hit over and over again by other cars. You might think that spending so much time in the mountains could have calloused my emotions toward animals or at least allowed me to rationalize the squirrel’s death… “Oh, it was just a squirrel.” In fact, my respect for the dignity and sanctity of all living things has grown since... (more...)

Well, this past week I was looking down into the holler toward Webb’s Creek thinking about how Gatlinburg sells more plastic bear ponchos than any other place on planet earth and is #2 in marrying people only behind those fake Elvis dudes in Las Vegas. The truly amazing thing, though, is that the plastic poncho sales and the record number of “I do’s” are both direct results of our annual rainfall. In the higher elevations of the Smokies we get about seven feet of liquid sunshine every year! Seattle is famous for their rain, but they get less than half of ours (a woosy 35 inches) and it usually comes in little baby drizzles weeks at a time! Our storm clouds in Tennessee never even heard of the word “drizzle” and “drenched to the bone” is an actual Tennessee medical term for a poncho-less visitor. What happens in Gatlinburg….gets wet in Gatlinburg. The... (more...)

Well, this past week I was looking down into the holler toward Webb’s Creek thinking about my newly discovered anti-social behavior. My friendly wife and hiking partner, Kat, and I had just returned from a very popular trail in the mountains. The trail was over-run with young families, laughing and crying children, couples and church youth groups all trying to enjoy the wonders of nature. We hike hundreds of miles each year and I have come to enjoy the solitude in the wilderness, but I’ve never thought of myself as anti-social until that day. During this hike I was perplexed, irritated and inspired…simultaneously. Those three emotions don’t usually travel in a bundled package and I believe I was grimacing, squinting and smiling all at once. Because I received so many “looks” from my new trail buddies I am fairly certain that my non-verbal facial expressions were totally congruent with my wacky emotional state. Each time that we would meet another hiker or group... (more...)

Well, this past week I was looking down into the holler toward Webb’s Creek thinking about how we could end the gas crisis. It hit me like that little bell that goes off when my Jeep is running on fumes. Before I lay out my modest proposal an important word or two about “oxygen.” The percentage of oxygen in the air we breathe always stays constant at about 21%, but as you hike higher and higher in elevation above sea level the lower air pressure at the higher altitude allows the oxygen to spread out. Some call that “thin air.” You would have to take almost three breaths at 12,000 feet elevation to capture the same amount of oxygen as in one breath at sea level. Thin air can affect judgment and thinking ability… and yes, my cabin is thousands of feet above sea level. With that air cleared, I believe the answer to our gas crisis is merging our hospitals, drug companies and oil companies into one giant business. Bill Gates could buy all of them to create St.... (more...)

Well, this past week I was looking down into the holler toward Webb’s Creek thinking about a young man from Bulgaria who shifts into neutral whenever he drives downhill. I struck up a conversation with Victor when I stopped by a campground store near Rocky Flats on the other side of the hill. His accent was more challenging than a fourth generation Cocke County moonshiner. Victor was a skinny 18 year old chain-smoking Bulgarian; outgoing, confident and funny but with way too many stories about drinking vodka back in Eastern Europe. He had a big heart and a zest for life. My wife and I befriended Victor for the summer and I think we learned much more from him than he did from us. Victor had somehow hooked up with an international work agency. His family paid the company some money and in return they did the paperwork so their only child could travel 5,000 miles to clean fire rings and pick up trash at a campground in Tennessee. He earned as much in an hour or so as he might have... (more...)

Well, this past week I was looking down into the holler toward Webb’s Creek wondering why some people’s feet smell really really bad. In the interest of good taste I’ll spare you the gory details that prompted my extreme curiosity because I’m guessing that you, too, may have personally stumbled across the life changing aroma. The journey for the answer to our question begins at one of the most amazing protrusions on our bodies; the incredible nose. If you could put on tiny hiking boots and carry a tiny flashlight you could hike all the way up your friend’s nose and discover that the trail actually leads directly into his/her brain. In fact, some scientists describe the nose as an extension of the brain! Your nose is multi-talented and performs many tricks, but its ability to smell stinking feet is nothing short of a miracle. Dick Axel and Linda Buck shared the Nobel Prize in 1984 when they figured out how we smell stuff. In order to smell anything the object must release... (more...)